Monday, May 17, 2010

The Worst Beer in the World

Poking around the ol' Intertron today, I came across this little gem: The Nine Worst Beers in the World and it got me thinking: I haven't put up a blog post in a long-ass time.

So here it is, my ones of readers: my own little follow-up list of the worst beers the world of brewing has to offer.

5. and 4. Heineken and Stella (bottled)

Anyone who drinks an import out of a green bottle does not really like beer. I firmly believe that people who order one of these at a bar really just want a Bud or Miller, but are worried about how that might look. You want a pale lager! Order the cheaper, non-skunky variety and own it, man! Now, Stella on tap has a certain charm on a hot day, but its price as compared to its (mostly) American cousins renders the point moot.

3. Lagunitas Pale Ale

As I've mentioned before, I can deal with hoppy as long as it's balanced with malt. Some brews are better at this than others. Now, I haven't given Lagunitas another shot, and I would hate to begrudge them an off batch, so I will seek this one out again. But for now, grass clipping beer = no.

2. Anything N/A

Should be pretty obvious.

1. Natty Light

Ahhh, college. Ten dollars a case just makes good financial sense, right? Merciful heavens, the things we put ourselves through for a buzz. The taste is akin to the water left over from making a bowl of rice, with a touch of beer coloring and some fizz. If you are over 21 and have purchased this willingly and unironically, when you had other options, I... I... I just can't fathom this situation. Take the tiniest of steps up and get the Ice: at least it has an appreciable amount of alcohol in it.

True story: I went to a beer pong party (or Beirut for the tightasses out there) and brought a case of Milwaukee's Best Light, or Beast, in the parlance (just as cheap as Natty but actually tastes like beer). The "host" refused my generous offering, saying that he would not be partaking and made sure to fill his own cups with his precious Natty Light. Poor fool, If it's good enough for my grandfather, it's good enough for you!

One final note: Any of the cheaps (PBR, Schlitz, Strohs, Old Style, Hamms, High Life, etc.) taste better with a gulp of something strong, brown, and from Kentucky. Use this information wisely!

1 comment:

  1. I'm so glad you agree with me on Heinekin! Gross.. and makes me look unhappy when I'm drinking it, which you should never be unhappy drinking beer.